Over two years ago I
attended a three day workshop on self-development called Landmark
Forum. The event as I'd describe it was about breaking out from our
emotional constraints and making steps to grow as people. The
culmination of the workshop for each individual was when they came to
appreciate some sort of creative power within them. This breakthrough
moment was called "popping up".
The workshop cost just over £300 and lasted for three full days (9am to late hours) and one afternoon.
I know, it might sound suspicious or cultish to some of you. In fact, even I struggled to believe this was "normal" and the first morning when I turned up at the venue I though "What I am putting myself into?"
However, it wasn't anything like that. The workshop was held in London, and people from all over Europe came over to attend it and seemed to truly enjoy it. They were "popping up" day by day, alone or together, always with an immense smile of discovery and excitement on their face.
One of the most significant tasks to do at the course was to contact someone whom we are in a conflict with or have a difficult relationship with, like a family member or a close person in life. The purpose of this was to tell these people something loving if we normally struggle to say it to them. People phoned their ex-partners whom they have children with, their parents, siblings/friends etc. Most of them queued up for the microphone quickly afterwards in order to share their excitement of what they have said and what reaction the recipient had given.
I couldn't afford to do this task in the "right way" and I haven't "popped up" either during the course or afterwards, but I must say that it was an interesting experience worth trying.
One of the concepts I learnt there was that there are three crucial moments in our lives when something significant (on our subconcious level) happens for us and the choice we make goes on to shape how we will act later in life. This will be something from our formative years, from when we are toddlers, then in our teenage times and finally when we are adults. These situations could be minor events in our life, but they make deep impressions in our minds and that's why their impact on our life is so powerful.
To give you an example of this I'll share one of my statements I made when I was young which was: "If I don't do this myself, nobody will do it for me". I had found myself in a situation when I was hungry and there was no-one around to prepare dinner for me. It seems like a trivial event, but not when you're about four years old.
This event and the manner of thinking that sprang from it may have helped shape my sense of my independence and willingness to make the things happen, but at the same time it made it hard for me to rely on anyone and partly affected my sense of security - in terms of feeling, that I can only count on myself.
Sounds a bit deep? Maybe. But the treasures of our minds sometimes have to be dug deep of our psyche and then polished like diamonds ourselves. Not necessarily or not only by participation in self-development courses.
The workshop cost just over £300 and lasted for three full days (9am to late hours) and one afternoon.
I know, it might sound suspicious or cultish to some of you. In fact, even I struggled to believe this was "normal" and the first morning when I turned up at the venue I though "What I am putting myself into?"
However, it wasn't anything like that. The workshop was held in London, and people from all over Europe came over to attend it and seemed to truly enjoy it. They were "popping up" day by day, alone or together, always with an immense smile of discovery and excitement on their face.
One of the most significant tasks to do at the course was to contact someone whom we are in a conflict with or have a difficult relationship with, like a family member or a close person in life. The purpose of this was to tell these people something loving if we normally struggle to say it to them. People phoned their ex-partners whom they have children with, their parents, siblings/friends etc. Most of them queued up for the microphone quickly afterwards in order to share their excitement of what they have said and what reaction the recipient had given.
I couldn't afford to do this task in the "right way" and I haven't "popped up" either during the course or afterwards, but I must say that it was an interesting experience worth trying.
One of the concepts I learnt there was that there are three crucial moments in our lives when something significant (on our subconcious level) happens for us and the choice we make goes on to shape how we will act later in life. This will be something from our formative years, from when we are toddlers, then in our teenage times and finally when we are adults. These situations could be minor events in our life, but they make deep impressions in our minds and that's why their impact on our life is so powerful.
To give you an example of this I'll share one of my statements I made when I was young which was: "If I don't do this myself, nobody will do it for me". I had found myself in a situation when I was hungry and there was no-one around to prepare dinner for me. It seems like a trivial event, but not when you're about four years old.
This event and the manner of thinking that sprang from it may have helped shape my sense of my independence and willingness to make the things happen, but at the same time it made it hard for me to rely on anyone and partly affected my sense of security - in terms of feeling, that I can only count on myself.
Sounds a bit deep? Maybe. But the treasures of our minds sometimes have to be dug deep of our psyche and then polished like diamonds ourselves. Not necessarily or not only by participation in self-development courses.
WERSJA POLSKA / POLISH VERSION
Ponad dwa lata temu miałam okazję uczestniczyć w trzydniowym kursie z rozwoju osobistego zawanym Landmark Forum. Celem tego warsztatu było wyzwolenie się z naszych emocjonalnych ograniczeń oraz oczywiście dalszy rozwój samego siebie. Momentem kulminacyjnym kursu dla osoby biorącej w nim udział było odczucie takiej jakby miłosnej i kreatywnej siły wewnątrz siebie. Ten przełomowy moment określany był mianem "wyskoczenia" - z ang. "pop up" tak jak popcorn wysakuje z ziarenka kukurydzy...
Kurs kosztował ponad 300 funtów i trwał trzy pełne dni (od 9 rano do późnych godzin wieczorowych) oraz jedno popołudnie.
Wiem, że może brzmi to co najmniej podejrzliwie, albo jak jakaś sekta. Tudzież sama z trudem wierzyłam, że to w ogóle jest "normalne", a pierwszego ranka zaraz po stawieniu się na warsztacie pomyślałam: "W co ja się pakuję?"
Nie mniej jednak nic z tych rzeczy. Ludzie z całej Europy przyjechali, aby w owych warsztatach wziąć udział (miały one miejsce w Londynie) i wydawali się naprawdę dobrze bawić. "Wyskakiwali" dzień po dniu, razem lub osobno, zawsze z ogromnym uśmiechem na twarzy objawiającym odkrycie i podniecenie.
Jednym z najbardziej istotnych zadań na kursie było skontaktowanie się z kimś, z kim np. jesteśmy w konflikcie, lub z kim mamy trudną relację. Mógł to być członek rodziny, lub inna bliska nam osoba. Celem tego kontaktu było to, aby wyrazić swoje pozytywne uczucia do tych osób, np. powiedzieć im, że się je kocha - czyli to wszystko, z czym na co dzień mielibyśmy problem. Ludzie dzwonili do swoich ex małżonków, z którymi mieli dzieci, rodziców, rodzeństwa, przyjaciół itp. Wielu z nich zaraz po fakcie prędko ustawiało się w kolejce do mikrofonu na scenie, aby podzielić się swoimi przeżyciami i tym, jaka była reakcja ich odbiorcy.
Osobiście to zadanie nie wyszło mi "tak jak powinno" i nie "wyskoczyłam" ani podczas kursu, ani też po nim, nie mniej jednak muszę przyznać, iż było to warte spróbowania, interesujące doświadczenie.
Jednym z konceptów, jaki tam poznałam to taki, że istnieją w naszym życiu trzy momenty, kiedy dzieje się dla nas coś bardzo istotnego (na poziomie podświadomym) gdzie wybieramy pewne oświadczenie, które staje się naszą dywizą tego, jak będziemy w naszym życiu reagować na pewne sytuacje. Pierwszy taki moment jest kiedy mamy kilka lat, potem kiedy jesteśmy nastolatkami, w końcu - kiedy stajemy się dorośli. Sytuacje te mogą wydawać się mało znaczącym wydarzeniem, ale wywołują one silne uczucia w naszej psychice, dlatego też ich działanie na nasze życie jest tak potężne.
Aby podać Wam przykład jak to działa, podzielę się z Wami jednym z moich oświadczeń z czasów kilkulatki "wydobytych" podczas tego kursu, kiedy to pomyślałam sobie "Jeśli ja tego nie zrobię to nikt inny tego dla mnie nie zrobi", ponieważ znalazłam się w sytuacji, gdzie byłam głodna i nie było nikogo, kto mógłby zrobić mi kolację. Przypadek wydaje się banalny. Nie zapominajmy jednak, że jestem niespełna pięciolatką!
Jeśli wierzyć tej koncepcji, to ten wzorzec myślowy mógł pomóc mi w ukształtowaniu we mnie sensu niezależności, ale także utrudnił mi poleganie na innych, co mogło zawadzić na moim poczuciu bezpieczeństwa - w takim sensie, że liczyć mogę tylko na siebie.
Brzmi głęboko? Może. Ale skarby naszej potęgi muszą czasami być wydobywane z głębi naszej psychiki, a potem szlifowane jak diamenty. Niekoniecznie, lub nie tylko poprzez udział w kursach rozwoju osobistego.
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